As a heterosexual male with only a few same-sex ceremonies under my belt let me start off by saying that this interview is as much for me as it is for you the reader. I set off to get the answers to a few questions that I, as a wedding photographer looking to expand my marketing, really needed to have answered. Surprisingly there is very little information out there on the interwebs on “how to be a better gay-friendly vendor” so I did the obvious thing and reached out to the girls of So You’re EnGAYged (a popular same-sex wedding portal) for help in finding my answers.

DWF Photographers Blog – I’m sure many of us photographers out there have the very same concerns… will we open our mouths and say the wrong thing? So what is the correct terminology to use on our sites, in our emails or for our marketing?

EnGAYged Girls – The most inclusive is same-sex friendly, but gay-friendly or LGBT-friendly are pretty much as broad. We use them interchangably on the site.

DWF Photographers Blog- How should a photographer put themselves out there for a same-sex couple to know they are “friendly”.  I guess I’m asking, what really makes a photographer gay-friendly?

EnGAYged Girls - That is an excellent question. Truly it does not mean a big rainbow ad across the front of your site that says “WE LOVE GAY COUPLES!” :) Our readers (both LGBT couples and allies) are very perceptive; just the lack of heteronormative language (like the phrase “bride and groom”) on your site will make it clear that you are inclusive.

Second, if you have permission from a same-sex couple that you’ve worked with, display those photos on the site among the rest of your portfolio. Do NOT make a separate LGBT section! The biggest complaint we hear from LGBT and allied couples is that they want to see more photos that represent them and that demonstrate that a vendor treats them equally and inclusively.

Last, some of our vendors also include a short sentence like “we photograph all couples – gay, straight, everyone!” on their information pages to make it explicitly clear.

DWF Photographers Blog – As a rule of thumb, do same sex couples search out photographers and vendors who openly identify themselves as gay-friendly? Meaning, is it really necessary for a vendor to say, mention it on their blog, about us page, contact page etc that they are friendly? or is marketing or advertising to the demographic directly via portals such as your own enough?

EnGAYged Girls - What we look for is not only vendors who market or advertise to the LGBT demographic, but are involved in the LGBT community and movement for civil rights. For example, one of our vendors, Stinkerpants Designs, is a custom-illustrator who in addition to printing several same-sex wedding invitations that couples can purchase, created an awesome bumper sticker with three couples, two men, two women, and an interracial heterosexual couple with the tagline, “This is what love looks like. Get used to it!” We looking for vendors who support the community both professionally and personally.

And yes, couples do look for this. 75% of the weddings that Kelly photographs are from the LGBT community, and in contrast to last year when she did mostly heterosexual weddings and NEVER travelled, same-sex couples are flying Kelly all over the country because they want to work with a vendor who is actively invested in their equality and their wedding as an expression of love and commitment.

DWF Photographers Blog – Do I have to do anything differently (as a photographer) for a gay couple? I mean are same-sex couples really looking for something different than your run of the mill bride and groom or is that just a myth? In the end everyone just wants great romantic pictures right?

EnGAYged Girls - You are 100% right – everyone just wants great romantic pictures that depict them in love. However, vendors should be aware that, just like for heterosexual couples, gender expression varies widely within the LGBT community, and it is imperative that vendors are sensitive to how people identify and relate. Just because someone may read as more “butch” to you doesn’t mean they necessarily identify as masculine and doesn’t mean they don’t want to look just as hot as a “feminine” bride. Pay attention to your clients as individuals, the language they use to refer to each other, and their physical interactions with each other. As we explained above, equality and inclusiveness do not preclude sensitivity to differences.

DWF Photographers Blog – Any final tips, advice or resources for the photographer who wants to be more gay-friendly?

EnGAYged Girls - Definitely – we wrote a $5 guidebook on how to update the language on your site, shotlist, and contract to be more gender neutral! Check it out here. It also includes a chapter on how to talk to your staff to make sure that they are equally sensitive and inclusive when working with LGBT clients! We are also super excited about an upcoming posing guide we are developing for photographers who want more ideas on how to pose same-sex couples; it’ll be in PDF form as well as an iPhone app!

So You’re EnGAYged is run by Kelly Prizel, Lara Swanson and Natalie Prizel. For more information on them and their website click here.

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